i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
