Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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