I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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