Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
