Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
