R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
