I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
