So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
