rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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