Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He felt like a one man threesome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Randomize
