Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
