ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
that is very illegal...i love you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
