I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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