yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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