Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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