I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk is not a location!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
