Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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