You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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