We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
