is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
