her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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