See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Girls should come with a carfax report
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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