Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
