well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
