brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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