stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
