im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
