she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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