Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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