She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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