all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
