Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you win again, gameday.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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