very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
