i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I believe in your delicious
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
