There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
