if i can run in heels then i can drive
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize