If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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