Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
