He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
