Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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