I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
