all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
