My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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