he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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