4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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