He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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