Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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