How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
