Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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