I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
