I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
