Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
