Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
