My balls are so social today.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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