alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
