There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
