I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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